Day 6: Adoption & Greedy Ass Foster Parents

When a child is removed from a home, the goal is always to remedy the situation and the parents have approximately one year to get their shit together and prove it to the Courts. When this doesn't happen, we look for other permanent options such as a Change of Custody or a Guardianship. If there are no other viable options, we head to Termination of Parental Rights essentially making that child a ward of the state. And there they sit. And wait. And wait. So here are some tips:

Do's and Don'ts of Adoption & Being a Foster Parent:

1. Don't be a greedy ass foster parent expecting children to come with money. And don't come to the table ready to negotiate. Children are not houses or cars or even items at a garage sale. 

2. Don't expect newborn babies. If your desire to be a parent is truly in the right place, you will parent children of ALL ages. Not just the snuggly ones. 

3. Just because your homestudy gets approved, don't think the next day *POOF* we will deliver a child. It doesn't work like that. Except at Hogwarts. They can do that shit. 

4. Don't fuck up a child's placement for your own selfish gains. It's just bad form. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. 

5. Don't think it's okay to pick and choose from a sibling group. Take them all or don't take any. Don't be the asshole that rips away a child's last remaining family ties. 

6. Don't blame the children if shit doesn't work out. ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF THEM. Go listen to "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson and realize PREFERABLY BEFOREHAND that it takes work to parent these traumatized kids. 

7. If things aren't working out with one child of a sibling group and you tell us to come and get that one child, we will come and get them all. Not just the one. All. Of. Them. They are a sibling "group". Do ya get that? 

8. Do not call us years down the road and say that "this isn't working out like I thought" and expect us to willingly take them back. Because we'll take them back all right...and also take your ass to Court and make you go through the system yourself. We are not a Target return/refund checkout lane. 

9. If you and your partner DO decide to foster or adopt, please assure that BOTH of you are on board. Children are a lifetime commitment. Not a relationship fixer. Not a rescue puppy. Not a carnival goldfish. 

10. Do not call these children ANYTHING BUT "my children". Do not say "my adopted kid" or "that one is my biological one" or "these are just my foster kids". Because I will drag you around the Fort and say to people "this is my asshole dickbag acquaintance". 

Foster parenting is a hard ass job. I get it. And we are SEVERELY lacking in good foster homes. I'm sure I don't have to say *why* we are lacking good homes...especially if you read the last paragraph of Day 7's post. But I would encourage anyone who has been thinking about it, to apply. As soon as possible. Because we are REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel with ours right now.